There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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