I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
