Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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