I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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