The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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