I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
