She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I got inside last night via doggy door
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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