he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
