I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Alive.
So much puke
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Randomize
