dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
