I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
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