We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
The air was thick with penises
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
