Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
