So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Ladies don't puke and tell
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
