i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Come see our sink grown plant.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
