look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
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