If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
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