So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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