After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
