saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Randomize
