I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
