She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
