i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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