well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
