its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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