Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
