but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
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