If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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