then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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