i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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