need another drink. this is the easiest way
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Randomize
