This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
