Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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