....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
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