Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
