fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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