Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
