Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
