I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Randomize
