Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
