I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
