i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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