You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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