So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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