Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
