with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
