I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Randomize
