I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I will be naked everywhere
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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