What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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