Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
