yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
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